when they got tired we had to beat ourselves

Looks like another, "bring your nemesis to work" week. filling those staff positions must be very confusing, did anyone tell him that it is ok to pick someone, anyone who would be loyal? or at least someone with the appearance of competence. that would be comforting. maybe he can't shake the victim complex. i was wondering how/when that would present itself. you know, he has enjoyed using the victim card throughout his career. It's what drew fellow "tired, poor, huddled masses" to him. just keep telling folks that you get that they've been held down by society. bad america! bad! my only worry with people who choose victimhood is that besides usually having unkempt hair and making bad relationship choices, once they get past that there is some thinking that "the ends can justify the means" because cheating is just evening the odds. (see illinois, ohio, pennsylvania) but now, that clearly in not true for him. it's hard for a president to look like a victim of society. well, until you surround yourself with wife-beaters. can he trade up and choose to be the hero that was promised? like on the 1/2 hour special before the election when he dressed as santa and those three families came in and sat on his lap and talked about what they wanted. kinda like that, but without the suit. wearing that everyday would not only be unsanitary but kind of creepy. dinner: ham and eggs, the classic hero/victim plate.

politics a la princess bride

According to a new study, people who voted for Barry have, how shall i put it, "no intellectual curiosity" . what a waste of money that study was. so now,  the most marketed politician ever is maneuvering to run a few media spots (in other words, nbc, cbs and abc will all be saying the same thing word for word)  where they will "manage and lower those expectations" of B.O you know, the ones where he was going to turn the economy around, wind down the war in iraq and heal the sick. so the question is, what can he do? as Vizzini said so well, " you were supposed to be this colossus, this great legendary thing..." and his astronomical IQ is being spent how? well, he's working really hard at choosing a puppy. and he works out faithfully. he's surrounding himself with idiots. (bill richardson for commerce!?) i guess so that he can seem smart by comparison.  "have you heard of Plato, Artistotle, Socrates? Morons!"  to prove your worthiness to work for his regime, oops, i mean staff- you just have to tell everyone how clever he is. but now it seems the mighty one is fresh out of words! no great ideas, no earth shattering solutions. it used to be change/hope/ hope/change blablahablah.  for the people of New York change has meant, less subway and bus runs, a lot less policemen and a whole gaggle of newly hired meter maids. the economic geniuses there think that will solve the money problem.  ah change.  try to hold on to some, you'll need it for the meter.  as Inigo wisely said, " you keep using that word, i don't think it means what you think it means."  so we wait for some wise new words, and yet, hear nothing. only leaks about new staff members as the market reacts. oh, did you get the memo on taking all your money out?   i used to worry about terrorists a little, now i worry about the muppet regime/cabinet a lot.  and i don't mean puppet. i mean, this is like the tryouts for the muppet show. only the real muppets were funny and more patriotic. it's hysterical. ok, i'm almost hysterical, and i mean that in the medical sense. what's nice is, people who didn't vote for the most brilliant man on earth already new what he was like. there are few surprises. but for his worshippers, the non curious, "i finally have hope", multiple registerers, i can only repeat what the man in black so succinctly said,  "get used to disappointment".  dinner: fish of course- it's brain food.

some things stay true

government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state, an intolerable one.- thomas pain

it's ok, we'll just make more

i know it's been quoted way past the allowable allotment lately, but i quote it wide eyed and freaked out, and i have to have it here, remember what our forefather the great RR said,  "the most frightening words in the english language: i am from the government and i am here to help." so here we are, getting all the help we can stand from our nanny government. as they help themselves to whatever we have left. Did you know that Mr. nigerian scam-after i take all your money i can just print more Paulson is 5th in the line of succession?  that makes the potential of hillary being number 4 like having a bubble bath. part of me can relax, while the rest gets disturbingly shriveled. wait, do i hear sniper fire? i'm still rooting for her though. remember how fun the primaries were? we all reached across the aisle, conservatives and neo conservatives and right wing conservatives and unified and got together and just helped out an old gal who'd been waiting a long time to cry on t.v. and just care. so much. especially about how YOU feel. after all, what good is government run healthcare without people who don't feel so good? which, when i think of it, i don't think i feel so good either. but i'll take a pass on the socialized healthcare. ah, good times. but today, if i'd been in say minnesota for the last month or unconscious i'd start to believe that our girl was in the House. all her old friends are there. hey wait, how can you have a party with all your old friends, and not be invited? maybe you could say, call the NYT and say you'd been invited and check mate the host! hmm. it's the old "invitation lost in the mail" or "it's not you, it's me" or "people don't mind paying more taxes, it's the patriotic thing to do!". you could bring those cute little pepperidge farm chessman cookies for dessert.  but dinner for sure would be very rare flank steak. because anytime youth and inexperience tries to get near age and treachery you're gonna get outflanked every time.

ideas stolen from nigeria

so fox news stole my thunder by running a story about a lady who got scammed by the nigerians.  I wanted to opine that we've all been tagged by the nigerian scam courtesy of our treasury department. Paulson is the genius who figured out a way to ramp up the graft.  how much simpler if you can just sucker everybody all at once. saves on those tedious hand written notes and african looking stamps.  so paulson tells us that if we just give him all of our money, put it in his account it will be considered  a special favor/service to our government to help in time of upheaval, and later there will be huge dividends and everything will work out ok. (sounds so familiar, especially to the chic who lost $400,000.) wow, it was so easy. now they are saying, look it's working! meaning, hold your back pocket, we are about to make another withdrawal. So dinner, nigerian scams running rampant can only mean one thing: roast wildebeast. there are no sides or leftovers. once it starts, they are not done until all accounts are empty. - congress is just ticked because they thought they were part of the gang and they got the shaft. they are all for government ownership of everything, but they wanted a piece of the pot too. why are any of them still employed?? to be continued.

ahem. excuse me a second while i loosen my red neckerchief. so many nice new things our p.e. is bringing to us. this may be our first real Chinese president. Clinton being our first real african american president.  it's striking how much he admires our red friends. their niceness, their infrastructure (read: brown outs), their really cool train and of course, their report card on human rights violations.  all admirable. i was humming our new national anthem, contributed by monty python:" i like chinese, i like chinese, they're cute, they're cuddly and they're ready to please. think of the many things they've done to impress, there's Maoism, Toaism, I Ching and Chess." very fitting since we will be using either i ching or fortune cookies to decide foreign policy. which ever is on sale at the treasury dept. that week. lunch, for the retirees who thought they had a nest egg: Egg drop soup.  let's watch the market drop every time a new proposal leaks out.  scary word of the week: O is ready to rule on day one.  oh, i feel better. they used to call it govern...go ahead put a side of uncle ben's brown rice on that plate. i think i miss bill.

i was thinking of our President Elect today while i was cleaning up dog poo in my yard, and wondering how big of a doodoo bag we're going to need in four years.  

there is so much to talk about today, but i must keep it short. need to make it fast before the power goes out.  which reminds me of dinner- i was thinking i would check out recipes i can use in an easy bake oven just in case. or convert my appliances to nuclear. (no yellow cake jokes) but must bake for the new holiday- have you heard?  some want it on lincoln's birthday (way to steal one more thing from a tall man with a hat) others think april 15 would be more appropriate. but i am annoyed at one thing. people who say they voted for the candidate simply due to race! what?? i hope they are lying. that should be an insult. it is just another haughty way to practice affirmative action.  and what does that mean?  well frankly it means, we don't think you really qualify, your ideas stink, and you can't win on merit, so, as generous elites, we'll just give it to ya. isn't that why jesse was crying? he knows what affirmative action means. oh great, i just saw easy bake ovens were recalled due to entrapment and burn hazards. dinner will be rainbow coalition snow cones and a whole box of ding dongs for the cosmopolitan voters that don't bother to know the issues.  by the way, if the punctuation bothers you, it is just a subtle reflection of our economy.  figure it out.

dinner and discuss

For those of you who thought you'd be getting, fresh, new, gourmet change, it looks like it's going to be stale Clinton Era leftovers for the unforseen future(with lots of Obama "57 States" ketchup) to make it go down easier.  and of course, you can have seconds. (how many votes do you still need Franken? we can serve up extra you know.) Not one new appointee is representative of "change" or "outside the belt-way". not one.  hope you enjoy what you had in the 90's because "it's what's for dinner". Still, it's more than what we'll have after they pass the new budget.  about 30% more. as the for Right, have they lost their mind? when did they start eating their own young? Menu for them: sour kraut.  sore losers. Way to gnaw off your own right arm. Everyone else, while we wait out the seige- tonight we'll be having Free Range fillets (harvested by helicopter of course) and a pile of Freedom Fries. (yes we eat beef). with lighting provided by Coal. God Bless America.

the day after

I wanted to fix something special tonight, so while i stood in the bread line counting what little government "credits" I had left I thought, hey, why not splurge? So some of us will have a hearty menu tonight.

It seems we are more powerful than we once thought.  But have some misused that power? I long time ago our humble colonies threw off a king. This week we've managed to crown the King of the World. And, though i doubted, apparently there are some miracles appearing as well.  Our old not-friend Iran has sent his regards and congratulations. wow. just harmless worshippers now.  Baaa. Though i feel this oncoming indigestion, here's dinner: Crown Roast of Lamb. I have kind of a bad feeling about it, but maybe that's because it cost me my last civil liberty to get. not sure.  for everyone else- side dish of wilted spinach and quiche.  you know who you are.   (next week all workouts and protein drinks ya'll)  and stock up on polish sausage... 

ok. that's done. Lots of people needing fed tonight, so their will be two menus.  For the crowd at Grant Park, no bread of idleness- we are serving up a big plate of Venison.  Nothing like looking like deer in headlights at the mention of "government can't solve everything", "calloused hand upon calloused hand" and "sacrifices"  HUH? what was that about? The lady who excitedly said earlier in the campaign, "he's gonna help me pay my mortgage and car payment!!" extra helpings for you- as well as our lovely twice baked potatoes, (same product, repackaged) and NO DESSERT, just two cups of Wake Up and Smell the Coffee. yum yum.  I don't want to be mean and say you'd get your just desserts, since you were expecting a check in the mail and all.  I know your disappointment will be greater than most, so sorry about that.  For the other side, some good comfort food. Some like meat loaf and mashed potatoes and all that, but really, our real comfort is in being able to go to bed at night, knowing that you can have peace regardless of what's going on around you. You can have security knowing Who holds the future and He has no party affiliation.  I am thankful for another day, and that tomorrow on my son's birthday I am going to eat cake- and remember that it's a blessing to have another day.

Political weather should be associated with what's for dinner.  That way, spending time on politics is not a total waste. Plus, what's for dinner? is another very important question asked in America everyday. So, today being election day... on the menu will be sweet and sour cranberry pork chops. (not just because it is already made haha) but, the political reason is:  today is a true mixing of america, the right and the left, everyone tossing in their vote, the sweet the sour, a real blend of flavors, like they used to say - the melting pot. and at the end of the day we will all walk away having had more pork.

for tomorrow, the forecast- 1/2 the nation will be needing some good comfort food, the other will be enjoy pizza and a beer.  

sometimes you need to know your voice is being heard. unfortunately, my party affiliation only allows me to vote once.  so, what can i say that i haven't been able to shout past the tube? i guess i am most annoyed by our sham election. our choices are: some guy who expects me to vote for him by comparison and another who is only in the race by pretending to be someone else.  it amazes me that his worst enemy is his own mouth and vp pick. he talks and runs from what he says. if he can't win by being himself, what is this??  so, are his minions pretending to vote for a pretend man? I wish. unfortunately it is all too real. will we know tomorrow? i doubt it.

and Ohio? so nothing happens where you see fraud occuring? amazing. is judge Stevens just a bit bitter still over last time? I guess Judge doesn't mean what it used to.