but i don't want to be expanded!

"Biden to lead task force to expand the middle class." That's hilarious. So, Biden gets to look like part of the team by getting a cush assignment. (hey, big smile, thumbs up, take the gag off for a few minutes)  I think they were referring to him when it was so wisely said, "it takes a village idiot." Of course, anyone who's been listening knows how liberals expand the middle class. Impoverish the rich.  That shouldn't take too much concentration from his vulcan mind. Is he a Trekkie or are those just Botox "angry eyebrows". Apparently, housekeepers and gardeners pass more stringent tests when becoming citizens than any member of Congress or federally elected official could hope to pass. Well, except for Condileeza Rice, she's smart and can talk.   Besides feats of strength what can Arnold do?  Someone get him a world history audio book.  He agrees with O. that Rome fell because they didn't take good care of their aquaducts. I think it was just a bit more complex than that. Anywho, that mis-remembrance of history somehow proves that if we invest in infrastructure (read, take from the "rich" and give to cell phone using, cable watching yet really poor americans) we will keep from sharing the same fate as Rome. For insights like these Congress quietly gives itself a raise. Dinner well, when in rome...pizza.

Santa doesn't believe in Global Warming

So I like Kwanzaa now.  Not because i've taken to appreciating 60's radicals or bash whiteys ceremonies, but since we are all getting so exclusive, it frees me up to say Merry White Christmas. And i don't have to switch out my blue-eyed Santa lawn toy. I can avoid the yearly societal guilt trip, "oh, is it ok to say that?" Do i HAVE to say Happy Holidays?" and doesn't Holidays have some kind of sublimal religious connotation? phew! no more worries! Now I can just concentrate on overspending. Just like our congress! ho, ho, ho. Except, i spend my own money and... wait! they do too!! One headline said they were experiencing bailout fatigue. that is so sad. writing all those checks out of our accounts, I can see how tiring that would be. Let's suggest they take a break.  Things I don't want for christmas: 1. my personal bailout- promised by the Mighty One, using my own money 2. a star named after me  3. the sham-wow!  4. year subscription to Media Matters 5. anything McCain. talk about shotgun wedding. And, since I live close to ALGORE, (though, the lights are on, but he's never home...) 6. I mostly don't want to get "carbon offsets" for christmas. He stole that idea from George Costanza's Human Fund. "carbon offsets" is just another name for "fairy dust" or, his account in the Caymans. Strangely, the atmosphere does not patch itself up when you throw money up in to the sky.  So, he must be needing some white christmas cash, because he's been getting more shrill lately. I can hear it from here, he assures us that we are all going to die. Which, ok, that is a fact, but he insists it will be in about 12 days. (give or take) Or worse, people will continue to enjoy heat and electricity! how selfish! I vote sierra club start first and stop using computers to save energy. plus, on the whole dying thing, I am betting we have at least until the new tax laws are passed. Merry White Christmas! Enjoy the eggnog and fruitcakes.

thanks but no thanks

Sorry opec, but loving that price of gas! It seems having my government approved tire gauge and tune up really did work! Like a festivus miracle! Now, that's done- on to fix congress. I don't believe there are any tools for that, but i am thinking of sending Harry Reid a big box of those truck stop pine tree air fresheners. apparently he thinks the "great unwashed" constituents he "represents" are stinky. Instead of saying THANK YOU to the taxpayers who just bought a D.C. Visitors center (3 years late and 1000% overbudget), he says he is glad because now he won't have to smell the tourists in the summer. hey, i guess we all need something to be thankful for.  maybe he was confusing his office with obama's tour plane. some reporters complained about the smell in there too. but then they were booted off, so keep your mouth shut future cabinet. while we are discussing wasting money, the transition team needed 500 people and 12 million dollars to relocate to d.c. and the biggest expense has been those needless podium "the office of the president elect" signs. that is a reference to time not an actual office position. somewhat like the b.o. administration will be. quit making the signs! for dinner today we'll have soy burgers (not a real food.)